momentum

The past month had been rather inconsistent. In fact, its been on and off since I got sick last Dec.

For now though, finally gotten back the momentum.
The thing is not to lose it again.

Today at the pool..
It was at lap 20 when the temptation to quit is darn high. But yesterday's chat with Uncle Chan came to mind, and the quote from Lance Armstrong's autobiography came forth too, "Pain is temporary but quitting lasts forever."

The feeling after the completion of the workout is SO DARN GOOD!!
Shagged but shuang. The thing about it is that you have the feeling to wanna go at it again, and soon.

In fact, after lunch at the tamp station, I had had the impulse to go swim again. But of course, impulse is well, just impulse. Rationality prevails lar duh.

Tmr though, swim + run, anyone?

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Brotherhood

Of steamboats and chainsaw duels,
enoki mushrooms and pork stews.

The beacon that spoiled the soup,
guailan is the name of the brotherhood.

Heres a half-farked attempt at prose,
better leave it to the pros.



Its the time of the year again.. wahahaha time to extend our visas.. again..
EH CHU YI WATCH WAD MOVIE AH???

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LIVE UPDATES!!

There has been some changes in the program over the next 2 days, which essentially shows that u can always plan, but be mentally prepared for them to go haywire.

Swim shopping and zuaing game with yuwei tmr. fark we are turning gay. DONT HANG OUT SO OFTEN LE LAR!!! nabei, its not like u'll intro gals to me lor.. pui!!

No more fyping tmr.. my fyp mate just broke up today. On her birthday somemore.. wtf man.. 5 yrs of r/s.. that has gotta hurt real bad man. theres alota important stuff in life than the stupid project.. take it easy lar ah..

Yuwei PANGSEHS steamboat on saturday!! nabei, NOBODY only just remember got sth on de lar!! I have another kee siao idea though. We arrange to go msia for the gathering lar. whole lot go whack hay poh, muahahaha.

Talking about steamboat, lee wei loong, when can we have steamboat again ah? i miss the uber lotsa mushrooms, jin zhen ku is imba, wahahaha

Anyway, Norman Khoo jios all perspective ex dunmanians for a bball this sat in Dunman High (Tg Rhu) Wah that day play abit, uber shiok man. Old place new compound. feels nostalgic, haha.

NK n WL, dinner/movie after bball on sat. Tamp area. Gina is coming. Wooooooooohhhhh

Joleen, paiseh for the pangseh. lets meet up soon.

Piak, TAKE 005!!! Dont need think so much le lar. just whack!!! And I wan Popeyes!!!

Yihui, Berkelah veri sian lei.. slippery trek, walk on rock, go up just to see swimming pool-_- jio more interesting ppl go can?!! preferably single and chio zhabors!!! wahahaa

Haven been biking as much as I would have liked. Shucks and running too. Must pump up le.

I MUST FINALISE MY TRAINING PLANS TMR!!

Many ppl said ive changed.. hmmm have i?? Ok I shopped or rather, loitered at shopping malls alot more these days (its cny, damit!) And its just some new slippers new clothes and a new farking hair cut nia lar! Ok granted, got some new stuff i wana learn, new things wana whack, new goals to hit, new jobs/careers to try out. Become more vocal, more direct and inevitably more kaobei. Less beating about the proverbial bush, less PC.

Fundamentally, still the same though. still equally guailan, equally kaobei, equally irritating. One thing's changed though, for once in a long time, I've decided to live for myself a lil more.

想说什么，just whack
想做什么，just whack
想着什么，just whack

loving it:) Life is supposed to be this simple. just whack! hehehe

In a totally random order:

Have you ever wondered..

Everything that u used/see, whether its a electronics like a hp, a furniture like a chair or even a component like a zip, clip, its very likely that there's a millionaire behind it?

Businesses/startup, though require huge initial amounts of capital, are rarely bankrupt in the First few years of the startup? (how many 20odd yr old business failures u see around u?) failure is subjective though

Condoms do sell really well. Bottomline, u don need a winning product. u just need to find a product with a huge demand.

Talking about condoms, why the hell is there a need for strawberry, banana and other smlj flavoured condoms? I mean, the dick isn gonna taste it, neither is whatever hole ure gonna put your dick. OH WAIT.... the mouth..... oooooohhhhh...

Deductive reasoning here.. going by the laws of demand and supply, dd up ss up. so.. popularity/common-ness of flavoured condoms on ntuc/7-11/cheers/mamashop = dd for such stuff is high = using the mouth is common... OMFG

Muay Thai or Salsa? or both?

March is coming. Races are coming. Time to chiong?

Kenya Nepal SEA? Human, marine creatures or animals? Community development or wildlife conservation? 12,18 or 24mths? To go or not to go?

Time to go school. The feeling-of-wanting-to-attend-school triumphs. for now. Will finetune this post later, if I have the mood for it. The malay tutor is darn boring. Though the idea of knowing how to converse in malay sounds cool.

Before malay tutorial though, its swim time. :) Cooooooool.

swim, malay, shopping, zua game, manU, swim, run, fyp is the order for the next two days. Life isnt too bad huh. Could have been better though, oh wells........

Note: if you'r privy to the enlightening talk-cock session from 13jan2009 10plus to 14jan2009 1plus, you would have understood the flow of the first part of this post. if not, well too bad then.

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A letter to The Creator

If it is true that there is a Creator, here would be some stuff I would like to ask Him..

Dear God,

What is the reason for my existence?
It seem that I don't have much for my parents to be proud of. Instead, I have been disappointing and worrying them. I am not an example that my brother can look up to. In fact, it seems my brother is so much more successful than I am. It seems that I don't bring much happiness to my friends. It seems that I deride on others often, that I am noisy for I am lonely inside, I am loud for I am quiet inside.

What is success then? How can I be successful?
While it is generally accepted that success is always subjective, it seems that I have always been a failure. Failure in the many stuff that I embark on, either given up halfway or incomplete. How can I feel success then? On the benchmark of others or mine? Does society determine success?

What is love?
I am sure I have experienced unconditional love from my parents. I mean, the things that transpired throughout my mundane existence, probably only those termed family, have the stomach to bear. But how about friends? Someone special? Friends I have, and many close ones too, but dont we all eventually part? Besides, arent the emotional friendship deposits and cashouts just another form of transaction, no? Someone special isnt something I can even comment on. You see, its non-existence in my life thus far.. and very likely will remain thus for a long time..

What is hope?
It seems that hope is essentially more pain and suffering. For the greater the hope, the greater the eventual dispair. Things either just happen, or they dont. Hope is essentially just an emotional excess baggage that we tag to stuff. Shall we all feel hopeless then?

What is life then?
People say life isnt about money or the material stuff. But many stumble while answering the question on what life truly is. Is life about the enrichment of others? Is it about bringing meaning to others? How then can one bring meaning to others if one does not know his meaning to self? Is life about making a difference?

Dear God,
honestly I dunno who you are, or your actual identity. Previously, I was never one to believe in Providence or higher intelligence or the Creator, but thinking about it now, it would be folly to think that everything that has happened in my life thus far is just by chance, that an organic chemical mixture of carbon hydrogen and oxygen that is me, can have thoughts and dreams by chance, that somehow all the interactions in this world and how our emotions, thoughts can just materialise from nothingness.

So God, if you do exist, tell me the reason for my existence, give me a reason to live my life fully. And while you are at it, take away my pain and hopefully make me stronger..

Thank you God.


Zhiwei

Not meant to be

Its been a while since I last updated. Quite some stuff have changed already actually.. well i guess thats life.. All good things must come to an end ba.. and dreams should just remain as well, dreams.. and sometimes sincerity and being nice just isnt enough.. not meant to be ba.. oh well..

Ok I am a lil emotional right now actually. so i welcome all gestures to hang out, chill, lobo, talk cock, yada yada.. but time still passes right, being emo isnt an excuse to stop living yar?

So.. here are my resolutions for 2009. Well honestly i dont have a habit of keeping to them in the 20 odd years of my existence.. so for once.. my first resolution would be to fulfil all of 2009's resolutions..

1) Stop feeling sorry for myself, I have done whatever I must, put in whatever I could, its time to learn to put it down and let it go..

2) All my races, but most importantly Singapore Bi and 1/2 Ironman. Multi discipline endurance sports has always been a dream. Its only now that I truely dared to chase them. This is the time, now. Bintan Singapore Pangerrang stdchart and ultimately Langkawi.. it all hinges on the feeling after 70.3. so please.. lemme do well.

3) Secure a job. Any job actually, now that the market is so bad.. Alternatively, go for an overseas placement. Work 1-2years in community development overseas. Perhaps a change in environment would be good, and hopefully I leave some baggage behind.. I don mind Kenya, Africa Nepal China East Europe, even SEA Cambodia or Vietnam. Anywhere but here in Sgp..

I have realised my life's pretty screwed up actually.. I mean it started pretty well.. From RedSwastika to Dunman High. Then it went downhill all from there. VJ was disastrous. Army only so-so. NTU cui. Results cmi, CCA also ppl don want, Emomomo stuff also cui, is there a reset or clear all button?? no , i guess as much..

Stop lobo-ing, start working. Get my ass cracking.

This year is the year. Lets kickstart it from here.

Likely that all this is just the emotions gone bonkers right now.. but still, one will hafta try somehow eh?

Usher in the new life.. here. now.

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