A love-hate relationship

Thru'out the entire day, the tunes of yesterday's concert keeps reverberating in my ears.

And with it, a million thoughts flowed through me today.

It was in primary school when the love-hate relationship with Chinese music first began. Well, it remains blurry as to how exactly i stumbled upon it, but well its something along the lines of "Alvin, I think learning music is good for you, it cultivates patience and appreciation of the arts." and coupled with a lets-get-this-discussion-over-so-I-can-go-play-with-my-toys attitude, I sorta "gong gong" went into it.

The lesson venue was situated behind the assembly halls of Red Swastika School, being always hot and stuffy. Practice was always a pain in the proverbial arse, it siphoned off the already sparse time I had, time I would rather spend on swimming lessons and 'science' adventures then. Not to mention table tennis and badminton! I was an active kid, very into sports, quite into science, but NEVER into chinese music, haha

Lessons were often missed, and Zhang Lao Shi had to talk to my parents several times.

"your kid actually has talent, but he doesn't practise or come often for lessons. Since there's so much activities during the weekdays, why don't he come to my place for private lessons on the weekends?"

I was still in primary school then, so the vocabulary 'Fark' still hadn't been introduced to me. But my reactions then was probably along the lines of "WHAT THE FARK?!!!!!" And to make matters worse, I was staying in Blk114 and Zhang Lao Shi just stays 6blocks away at 108.

Furthermore, I was quite sure I did NOT have talent, but that my parents would rather spend the money 'confining' me into chinese music, than the dragonball cards and insect sticker books that was the craze then.

With private lessons, and the subsequent increase in costs, came greater pain. I wouldn't want to get my arse spanked every now and then. So I gritted my teeth and ling long abit here and there, just to entertain the adults. I was a very busy kid you know, the centipedes and hornets and flies are waiting for me. Visions of being an entomologist intoxicated me then. (Any self-respecting pri sch kid would kill for those lovely "i am a young whatever-tist" badges!)

"There's a graded exam by the Central Conservatory of Music. Would your kid be interested?"

It would have be a resounding NO, if matters were left in my hands. But as with all parents, they felt then that they had uncovered a Mozart in the house. And with that, my life became a living hell.

Time flew and the exams came too soon. I was a nervous wreck and as expected, did not do too well. In fact, I failed. There was a little disappointment but alot more relief then. Hah! Now they wouldn't make me continue with the ling long stuff again!

"Nvm, try again next year."

Fark, don't the adults give up?!!

And to make matters worse...

"There's a National Music Competition next year. Would your kid be interested to join? He can gain some valuable experience and overcome the jitters. It would be good for his musical development."

AS IF THOSE EXAMS ARE NOT ENOUGH! NOW I STILL MUST GO COMPETE!!!

After a year of torture, a bundle of nerves, and a whole lot of 'malu-ating', I went to the arts council to compete. It was at the old venue at Fort Canning then. Needless to say, cui-ed. I was kicked out of the 1st round while some of my seniors progressed.

"Perhaps you will do better the next time?"

Yeah right, kiss my arse.

Primary six then came and went. I did not do too badly in my PSLEs and was accepted into Dunman High. Wait a minute, DUNMAN HIGH?!! OF ALL PLACES?!!! With an accomplished conductor, a proven orchestra, and an ultra supportive principal, it seemed that I cant run away from chinese music huh, omfg.

ok, so the stupid guzheng was finally becoming bearable. But as a full CCA?! It doesn't help matters that DHS doesn't believe in multiple CCAs. They don't believe in students having multiple outlets for talent, that we should just focus on mugging and 1 CCA.(which is something I still grouse over till this day)

With a ridiculous amount of coercing from my parents, and some from Zhang Lao Shi, I proceeded to seal my fate with DHSCO. After the usual introductory orientation, then came the choosing of instruments and if we have any background.

1st choice: da ji yue
2nd choice: guan yue
3rd choice: guzheng
4th choice:-----------

Music Background: No

HOW THE HELL I ENDED UP WITH GUZHENG AGAIN?!!!

This 'mystery' was only cleared up in the later years. Turns out that the chinese music community is actually very small. So who's students going which school, learning what instruments etc were all updated on a very regular basis over chinese tea and dumplings.

Fate lar, suck thumb. I literally had to face the music(pun intended)

But just when I was settling down to prepare for the graded exams and NMC'98, then came the notice that I had to change instructors. Ah Lao (aka Mr Tay Teow Kiat) is adamant that DHSCO members should all learn under the same instructors. Then came Yin Qun Lao Shi.

With new instructors, there came a whole new period of getting to know each other again etc, but it was fortunate that Zhang Lao Shi and Yin Qun Lao Shi were old friends. I guess that made the transition easier.

Of course with NMC looming at the back of my head, the practices became more bearable. At least I could now stare at the guzheng and not imagine it burning as firewood. In addition, it helped that when you do get better musically, you tend to appreciate and enjoy the tunes and melodies a lot more. Furthermore, now that I am officially part of the DHSCO community, there are concerts and performance commitments to honour. Cant be too slack right.

I started to appreciate the pieces that I am playing. Hours were spent between me and my guzheng. I looked up on the writeups of the pieces, and tried to imagine the moods and imagery that the composer is trying to portray. Practising alone at home became interesting and fun. I was actually looking forward to them!

Then came NMC'98. This time round, I was prepared musically. But still frigging kanchiong mentally. After the 1st song, I was just enjoying the proceedings and had already given up hope on qualifying. It was a great surprise when I got in! After the final rounds, I have managed to clinch 2nd in the intermediate category!! It was no biggie actually, but when I was a sec1 and many of the DHS seniors got their arse kicked because of me, it was kinda blown outta proportions. (which directly resulted in my distaste for ensemble practices, but thats another story;))

Beyond '98, I guess I have had the fortune of numerous performances, ensembles and solos, winning another NMC, this time in the Open Category, passing the entire grading syllabus and the subsequent music diploma, culminating in my swansong being a solo piece accompanied by Shicheng orchestra.

Interesting right? What then started out as a recipe for disaster, didn't end too shabbily yeah.
Strange how fate works huh;)

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